A Matter of Tolerance and Compassion
A Matter of Tolerance and Compassion
Have you ever decided to pay attention to a specific attribute in yourself with the intention of taking stock of your own self mastery and personal evolution? It is a deeply rewarding experience and one I caution you to do only if you are ready for a rocky ride!
This summer I made a decision to consider two important values; tolerance and compassion. As I gazed out into the world I was deeply saddened by the lack of tolerance I saw in others and its part in dividing people and nations. Whatever the issue, lines were drawn and judgments made, leaving little room for understanding and acceptance.
My starting point for this contemplation and observation was frankly one of quiet smugness. As a practitioner of continuous self improvement, I saw myself as already well advanced in the application of these facets of my being. Silly me!
I share now the learning from this journey with you, as embarrassing as it is, in the hopes that we can all gain a deeper understanding of the subtle and eroding pattern that a lack of tolerance and compassion can wreck in our lives and in the broader world. So here it is!
This practice of "paying attention" had a specific pattern to it. Each time I felt any emotion from simple annoyance to outright anger; my responsibility was to examine the source of the emotion. In this context emotion became my friend and guide. It was the flag and indicator that led me to myself and my own beliefs. In each situation I stepped back from the emotion and dug deep inside to find out what was true for me in that moment and what values and beliefs were being confronted by the immediate situation.
I gleaned many insights and most I am still in the process of contemplating. What I did discovered in me was an intolerance of intolerance!! As convoluted as this sounds in fact it was a simple and disturbing truth to uncover. Each day I confronted a myriad number of situations where I saw myself judging another. I attended a wonderful leadership conference and judged the caliber of the group facilitators and the behaviour of my fellow participants. I judged the language of a friend. I flared with rage at an unintentional racist slur. My blood pressure rose when I heard a prominent leader disparage a fellow associate. Frankly the list of my judging and intolerant thoughts is quite endless! It was not a happy discovery!
So what does it mean to me? To you?
We are all interconnected and no thought or action goes without its impact on self and other. When thoughts and ideologies and beliefs disturb our equilibrium and internal peace we are less and so, become those around us. When we leave no room in our hearts and minds to deeply consider another's perspective we set up an inevitable and predictable chain of events that will lead to an escalation of our separation from one another. Seeking out the root of our own intolerance is the only sustainable way to bring peace to ourselves and the rest of the world.
The one saving grace of this whole adventure, for me, was the inclusion of compassion in the equation! It is the singularly most powerful way out of intolerance. For you see, I became intolerant of my own intolerance and so began the self flagellation, which again increases and expands the dilemma. For a short time I became quite discombobulated and unhappy. And then, like Divine Grace, a lightness of being filled me.
It became crystal clear that by living in compassion, for me and others, intolerance could not co-exist with love. Of course I knew this intellectually! This was a deeper understanding. I knew that I could be much kinder to myself in this process. What was the most critical element in this grand summer adventure was that I was noticing and becoming more aware of my own intolerance, and that was a worthy start to changing.
Imagine if each of us makes a consistent appointment with ourselves to intimately examine our own humanity and our own short comings holding a broader intent. With compassion if each of us considered our own intolerance and began to replace it at least in part with compassion, this apparent subtle shift could forever change our immediate world and perhaps impact on a wider scale as well.
Where does your intolerance lie? What are you not ready to admit or divulge about your own narrow perspectives and beliefs? What is in you that is not life affirming? I challenge you to go on this journey with me. I challenge you to face your intolerance. We can all do it. The power of compassion will assure us that the outcome will make each of us bigger and richer in our being and those around us will be blessed by a new sense of our acceptance and understanding of who we and they truly are.